


No Tears Left To Cry

by 4Video_Games_and_Anime2



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Gang Violence, Gangsters, Gay, M/M, No Smut, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Running Away, Slurs, Tags May Change, Teenage Rebellion, Vaping, lmao someone might die, some alcohol
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-17
Updated: 2020-10-09
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:34:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 5,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24224407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/4Video_Games_and_Anime2/pseuds/4Video_Games_and_Anime2
Summary: The streets of Miyagi are dangerous, and Shoyo Hinata knows all about that. Ever since he was kicked out of his house at the ripe age of 16 for being gay, he’s been welcomed in by the biggest japanese gang out there on the streets. In order to stay alive, he blindly does what they tell him to do, but when Tobio Kageyama pops into his life at his new high school his entire perspective on life has been changed. Pursuing his love will leave him the risk of being killed, but it will make him happy. He will feel loved again. Will Shoyo go with his gut and chase after the love of his life at the risk of killing him, or will he keep his feelings locked away?
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou & Kageyama Tobio, Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio
Comments: 5
Kudos: 16





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> No one asked, yet I bring forth yet another fanfic. If you haven't read my kuroken story you should *wink. 
> 
> I ALSO HAVE A YOUTUBE CHANNEL!
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/user/kailanijones14

I have no need for your pity, your spare change, nor your prayers. Fuck that shit. I’ve been living like this for years, and nothing will change it. Your sympathy will do nothing for me. I honestly think I’m doing pretty good for a rejected gay kid. I’ve got a place to live, a decent education, and people to protect me and a pretty well built arsenal of mine. 

Guns. That’s what keeps me alive on the streets of Miyagi. Not your spare dollar bills nor your likes on facebook to help those “poor queer kids rejected by their families.” 

I already have my glocks, my knives, and my brass knuckles. I’ve got everything I’ve ever needed to survive. I no longer have the need to shed my tears of weakness nor wonder how my little sister is doing without her brother at home to help with homework. 

I have everything I need, so why do I still feel like something is missing?


	2. Pay Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Wouldn't it be crazy if that bastard of a setter from Kitagawa Middle School went to Karasuno..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GOD! I don't know why this was so hard to write, it seems like the first chapters are always so hard...

_ “Mom, dad… can we talk?” I innocently called for my parents while sitting at the kitchen table with my little sister, Natsu.  _

_ “You got this, Shoyo! Fighting!” Natsu encourages practically jumping out of her seat. My parents come urgently to where me and Natsu are seated and hold my hands reassuringly.  _

_ “Remember Shoyo, you can tell us anything and we’ll still love you. This sounds serious, are you in trouble?” _

Bullshit.

_ “Mom. Dad. I’m…” I take in a deep inhale and after a while I just rip the bandaid off, “I’m gay.” _

_ Silence fills the room as the room fills with disapproving looks from my parents and a glowing smile on my naive sister. “Son, you’re surely just confused. Right?” my dad questions with a hint of desperation. “Uhmm… I kinda had my first kiss. It was with a boy,” I tell them excitingly. The look on their face moves from disapproving to disgusted and flat out anger.  _

_ Natsu and I turn to each other in confusion. Her eyes ask me why they’re mad and I’m too full of fear to speak. The thought comes to my mind that they might kick me out, but the thought is outrageous. They love me, right? _

Ahha, nope.

_ My dad and mom pull their hands away in disgust, like I’m some sort of animal. My mom stares down at her lap as my dad runs up to my room demanding me to, “Stay put,  _ pig _.” _

_ My dad comes down with my school bag, and a duffle bag of some clothes. He throws it at me and drags me to the door. I look back at my sobbing sister running after me begging Dad to stop. He slams open the door and demands me to never come back. He says,  _

_ “Fags like you deserve to live on the street like the animals they are.” _

_ The last thing I saw that day before the front door slamming in my face was my sobbing sister being held back by my quiet mother.  _

_ The only words I hear before departing is the words I wish my parents would tell me, what they used to tell me,  _

_ “I love you, Shoyo!” _

I wake up in a cold sweat covered in newspapers and a piercing neck pain. I slap myself back into reality and look straight at my room’s wall, “Those days are over. You’ll never see her again. You’ll survive high school and buy a home for yourself. With everything you ever need,” I tell myself. 

Tossing and turning I try to drift back to sleep, but can’t. 

I grab my JUUL off its charger and take a deep inhale, letting the nicotine make my nerves go numb and the mint flavor roll over my tongue. I exhale out my broken window that won’t close, and escape back into my own head. 

This makes the 10th day in a row that I can’t sleep.

_ Damn. _

***

“Shoyo, you know the drill. It’s Saturday.”

There that fucking annoying voice goes again, Ushijima Wakatoshi. He thinks I’m still that new kid on the block. How ironic, I’m the one that’s got his ass kicked the most times when he picks fights with me. I have more weapons than he and his little ‘pet’ Tendou does. 

“Act like I’m an idiot one more  _ fucking  _ time, and see what happens,” I growl, looking up at him from my short stance of only 185 centimeters. He glares down at me like the midget I am and shoves me the small backpack.

“Whatever, shorty,” he mocks.

I’ll kick his ass later, it’s too goddamn early. I take the bag and sling it over my shoulder, making my way down the shaky fire escape, skipping the last two steps. I keep my head down and sing a little song to myself, 

_ Getting my money. _

_ Gonna get cash. _

_ Living without my _

_ crappy-ass parents. _

I make my first few stops without issues, classic drug addict, lowlifes. 

The only reason Saturdays are so special is because the cops have a bigger presence on the streets. Never been caught, and that’s how I worked up the ranks and built up a bigger salary. With that salary I used to use pay phones to try and call my ‘family,’ only to be hit with the classic, “Don’t ever call us again! You’re not the son we raised!” 

See, I work fucking hard for everthing I have. Running from cops ain’t easy. Hiding your sexuality from everyone you know ain’t easy either, just because they don't think it’s right.

Well if liking dick is so wrong, I don’t wanna be right.

What’s so bad about wanting a husband and not a wife? Besides, I’m saving myself some trouble; girls are fucking hard work. I mean their mood swings and ridiculous anger during their periods. I don’t know how some people do it! 

Sometimes I like to think of the faces that my parents would have if they found out I joined the biggest gang in Miyagi. What if they found out that their only son was a blood through and through, and actually survived these terrible streets after expecting me to die cold and hungry on the streets? 

Guess I’ll never find out though, but what I do know is that I have to go to that goddamn school tomorrow. 

What was it called, “Tori-something?” No that’s not it, oh! Karasuno. I’ve seen them on television one time in middle school. They were so cool! There was this one guy, they called him a little giant! He went to Karasuno, I wish I could be like him. 

I tried volleyball in middle school, but there was no team. I couldn’t play one match, but when I snuck in to see a volleyball game there was this one guy, he played for Kitagawa Middle School and played in the setter position. He was one son of bitch, I'll tell you that. He was good, but a bastard to play with it seemed. 

Sometimes I think I might see him again on TV if he cleans up his act, but that’s very unlikely.

There’s no way he’d play for Karasuno though, maybe Shiratorizawa. I’m thinking about joining the volleyball team, I heard they were good. If I hide my tattoo well enough I might get away with it. I could do my rounds on the weekend and after practice do some more. 

I’ll be okay, I could have a somewhat normal life. 

Besides, no one would think that someone who plates for the infamous Karasuno would actually be involved in a gang. I don’t do drugs, I only drink every once in a while so I’ll pass the drug tests. What would go wrong?

Monday, I’ll try out, and I’ll have something to look forward to on the first day of school.

Ha, imagine if that bastard setter was there. That’d be funny, especially since I wanna be a hitter. 

Only time will tell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> But like, am I wrong? Some girls are so hard to deal with, myself included lmao.


	3. First Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "'Alirght. It's a bet then."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's here! Even though I should be working on AP exams...

“Oi! new orders from the boss!” exclaimed Yamamoto as he ran into my apartment at fucking 6 in the morning.

“What does he want?!” I exclaimed back, laughing hysterically. 

Me and Yamamoto have been best friends ever since I became a blood. He showed me how to wield a gun, how to properly punch someone without also hurting myself, and most importantly he taught me how to run my routes without getting caught by the cops. I don’t know what I would do without this loud idiot running through my apartment in the mornings to tell me my orders.

“Get to school kid, and don’t get kicked out this time,” he states with that goofy smile on his face. 

“Hrmm.. I don’t know if I can do that. Seems pretty hard to do, especially if all the teachers are gonna get on my nerves all the time like last time.”

It’s true, you know. I’ve been kicked out of 3 schools since coming out to my parents. Karasuno was the last place that I could go that’s closest to where I live. I originally had to go all the way to Tokyo to go to school, only to get kicked out.

Karasuno should be a good time though, it’s my last year of school let’s make it count.

“Alright, let’s go,” I groan; taking my school bag and bike to ride 30 minutes over mountains to get to school.

***

Goddamnit I’m here, and I’m fucking late. I park my bike and make my way to my first class, English. 

Agh! I hate English, if I lived in Japan why would I need English? I speak Japanese just fine and there’s now way in hell I’m gonna run into any foreigners in Miyagi. 

I make my way to the class and open the doors, I silently make my way to the only empty seat in the whole classroom. The board is filled with scribbles and the teacher recites gibberish in English from this big textbook. 

None of this makes any sense.

“Don’t act like I didn’t see you walk in, Shoyo Hinata.”

Gah! I’ve been spotted. I stand up and bow lazily,

“My bad, Ms…?”

“Ms. Ono. Minaho Ono, that is. I’ve heard a lot about you, shorty.”

Oh this bitch, 

“Dafuq you calling shorty?!”

“You,” she replies without taking her eyes off of me, “now why were you kicked out of 3 schools in Tokyo?”

How does she know?

“Don’t ask why I know, just answer me.”

She can read minds!

“They just didn’t flow with my style.”

“I see, well I guess you’re gonna have to change your style if you want to last long here. Now read the board, I might let you off the hook,” she states. Her glare stares daggers directly into my soul; I just feel inclined to try. I can’t though, so that sucks. 

“Ditto.”

“Well that’s unfortunate, so now if you don’t want to get kicked out  _ again _ ,” she declares, “join a club.”

Wait, that’s it?

“I was already going to join a club, the volleyball club!” I proclaimed. Then some guy with raven hair scoffs and announced, “Wrong. Choose another.”

Huh? No one talks back to me, not some bitchy teacher and definitely some squinty eyed fool.

“Wanna say that again, punk?”

“Enough!” Ms. Ono exclaims, and the room literally shakes. I shut up before she reads my mind again.

“Now onto our lesson,” she continues as if nothing ever happened.

About 30 minutes later the bell rings and I bolt out of there with Ms.Ono shouting after me, reminding me to join a club. 

***

Great, I’m actually on time. I make my way to the gym with my running shoes and run in there after calling Yamamoto that I’m gonna be late to interview the new member.

I walk into the gym and low and behold that same raven haired bastard is there. 

“Why are you here?!” I yell, and he looks over to me and drops the ball in his hand; he’s as equally shocked as I am. 

“No, why are you here?” he answers, “I’m the captain, now tell me why I should let you join.”

“Because I can jump high and I’m fast.”

“You better be damn fast and jump pretty damn high if you want to join,” he claims before walking up to me to get a better look at me, “in fact, we’ll hold a scrimmage. You’ll be paired with the first years and will take on me, along with other third years.”

Oh shit. I can’t let him know I’ve never played before, so I smile and bluff, “Bet.”

“Alright then, it’s a bet. See you Friday after school.”


	4. Weak.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Weak? No one calls me weak!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Srry for the late chapter update ahha, I have another story called Breathe. That's kinda connected to this one, but kinda not. If you're reading Breathe. Already then this story will be brought up later in the story. 
> 
> Also, trigger warning. Some gay slurs but nothing too major.

"Yo man the fuck you looking at?!" Echoed throughout the semi empty streets flooded with graffiti. I glare intensely at the guy I yelled at, Oikawa Tohru. This guy is the most annoying Crip to walk the streets of Miyagi. Always calling me shorty, groping me and inviting me to his place, and always looking down on me. Just because he beat me once in a fight doesn't give him any right to look down on me or my crew. 

"Your ass I'm about to fuck tonight, that's what I'm looking at," he growls like a hungry animal about to hunt down his next victim. Shivers run down my spine and a blush invades my face. I'm going to beat the absolute crap out of this guy. 

"I ain't a fag like you, bitch! We gonna fight or what?!" I exclaim, rolling up my sleeves and marching over to him; before Ushijima holds me back.

“Don’t start fights on your own, idiot. As for you, Oikawa Tohru, you should’ve been a blood.”

Here he goes again, always telling Oikawa how he should’ve been a blood, never been a crip, we make so much more money on our routes blah blah blah, he’s so fucking annoying.

“Well I’ll leave you two love birds alone, make sure to use protection,” I tease before walking off to go face our boss, who’s mad as fuck that I couldn’t interview the new blood. 

Shortly after, Ushijima runs after me and Oikawa walks away with that disgusting smirk of his.

***

“Where were you?! I knew you were weak, ever since I saw you on the streets that day begging people for money and food. This could be your cash!” he screams while shoving huge stacks of cash into his bag, “but no, little Shoyo Hinata had to be somewhere so important.”

Weak? No one calls me weak. “Weak?! Hell was  _ I  _ the one sitting my ass in a jail cell for years because I couldn’t run fast enough from the cops?!” 

He chuckles under his breath before throwing a rocket punch towards my nose, causing me to land on the concrete floor and gush blood out of my two nostrils.

“You’re right, so that’s why you’re gonna be the one to do the thursday routes, at 6 am. You’ll go all the way from an hour away to where your apartment complex is. Got that, punk?”

“Yeah,” I mutter, throwing my pride away covered in my own blood and sweat.

He punches me again, in the gut this time. I close my eyes and the next thing I know my semi-digested lunch is on the floor inches from me. 

“What was that I couldn’t hear you?”

“Yes, sir!” I scream out, right as the rest of the gangbangers beat me to a pulp.

***

‘Hinata, what the hell happened to you?!’ was the most heard phrase I heard as I walked across the hallway to my class, massaging my lower back in agony from falling on my ass yesterday. My eyelids feel so heavy I have to unleash my Hercules strength just to keep them open, and sitting down on my desk and to shit is a task all on it’s own. 

My entire face and left side of my body is covered in bandages. Thus I had to walk all the way to the counselor’s office and explain that no, I’m not being abused at home and nor these bruises are self inflicted. I simply got into a small fight with one of my friends. The face is because I fell on my face on the way home whilst riding my bike and I also fell again on my ass. 

It’s somewhat true, I got into a fight and I fell on my butt.

Explaining this to the volleyball captain was a different story though. Not to mention that he showed no mercy for practice. We had to run much more than my popcorn lungs could manage, but it’s not like I lagged behind or anything it was just more difficult than I anticipated. 

I ran the fastest, and I jumped the highest; just like I said I would. But the captain’s stubborn ass still won’t give me any recognition. And during spiking drills he’s like a fucking tryant, there’s no way I can play with him! 

Wait a minute… 

Wait a damn minute. 

This feels familiar, like there are others that feel this way other than the second and first years who just cower in fear despite their exceptional skills.

Wait, the raven hair, setter position, this guy is the one from Kitagawa Daiichi!

“Aren’t you the king!?” I asked, before being met with glare and the underclassmen looked away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omggggg veganism is hard. Also might publish another original story based on a comic I'm trying to make. It will just be kind of for me but make sure to definitely check it out once it's out 😊


	5. My b...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lmao i'm not dead i swear

Ayyoooo! I'm back, and the next chapter is being edited rn. I'm sorry that the story might have been a little too hard to follow cuz i'm having a hella hard time trying to understand some parts where I messed up. Don't worry, i awcknowledge my mistakes and will fix them for future chapters.

what's that, future chapters. yees i meant what i said i'm not leaving this as a wip. don't know how long it will be, but i won't leave it just yet. I lowkey kinda got into my own writing, just if only someone told me to clear some things up! and slow down some pacing, which i will plan on doing. 

i also originally wanted to focus on hinata's path to becoming a vball superstar (lol nice ring to that) but now the story will focus on the characters' personal life in hinata's pov. I got into the ride or die someone might die (wtf,,,) parts so now I'll expand on that and add more action to the fanfic. Maybe because i recently started part 5 of jojo's bizarre adventure, but I like the mafia/gang genres. Thus why creating this i had all american's gang related elements in mind lol. 

i remembered that i when i made this i didn't want to be the fanfic writer that left everything uncomplete with no answers as to why they left. I unfortunetly had to do that to my wattpad og story due to personal issues, but i don't plan on ever doing that again. even if i get in trouble i'll update, even if months go by inbetween. 

Make sure to comment and leave Kudos! Those really help me and get an idea of what y'all like! Ight i'mma get back to writing matane (god i'm such a weeb.)


	6. Victory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I won, but it doesn't feel like it...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I told y'all I'm not dead.

"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?!" The king demands, yeah. He's definitely the king. 

"Nothing, nothing man. Let's get on with practice.." I say looking away scratching my head nervously. 

"No! You know what let's set up that scrimmage right now! Kinoshita! Narita! Set up the scoreboard so I can beat this midget's ass!"

'Calm down Shoyo! You'll get kicked off the team!' is what the little voice in my head tells me. It's what Natsu would tell me. I think about what Natsu would tell me to do in this situation. I just think about the summer sunshine, the glistening sunlight reflecting off of the ocean. The sand seeping in between my toes, oh wait. That's bird poop. Now I'm mad.

"I serve first, I'll show you who's boss!" I scream from across the net to the Raven haired king and his two teammates. 

They go by the names Yamaguchi and Tsukishima, I think. Narita blows the whistle and I serve the ball into the net and the other team laughs at me. 

I roll the ball under, cursing the other team. One of my silver haired teammates calls for a timeout and we huddle. 

My teammates are Suga and Daichi, both are third years. And they're both taller than me, a 3rd year. 

"Hey, you can jump really high and run really fast. Your approach isn't too bad, we’ll have you up in front and Daichi will cover the back row. I'll set to wherever you want to hit the ball," he whispers to us. 

We all nod and we get back to our new formation. Tsukishima serves the ball over and Daichi easily receives the ball from him. 

Suga sets the ball high but not too high in the air. I ran up to the ball and hit it as hard as I could. 

_ Bam!  _ The ball hits the floor like a crashing rocket and the hand that hit it feels red, it feels full of a satisfactory weight I can't really explain. I land and the world stops rotating, time is at a stand still. No one moves, everyone looks to where the ball hit the ground and back at me. 

"Oi," the King stutters out, "that’s all I wanted to see"

“Wait, huh?” I mumble under my breathe.

"All I wanted to see you do was smash the ball across the net, and even though you did call me a God-awful nickname, you have potential and you’ve passed my inspection 100%." the King states. He takes a deep breath before announcing, “Please, be my hitter!”

"Together, with me helping you find your way, we can rule the world with our volleyball. Your speed and jumping power could conquer giants."

"Huh?!" I blurt out, what the hell is this guy going on about?

"I don't need an answer by today, but please take this into consideration.”

“Hell nah, I quit! You’re bugging!” I replied angrily, taking my leave from the court. I snatch my things from the gym floor and flee out of there. Just as I board my bike, Yamamoto calls from the typical unknown number,

_ Another job _

“Yo man we need you tonight, by the small shop run by that blond guy.”

I don’t have anything to lose, not family nor volleyball, at least not anymore.

“Yeah man I’m in, be there in about an hour.”

***

“Shit man, go go go!” Ushijima yells, running behind his car shooting at the crips attacking us. Glass shatters and car alarms ring in my ears. The cold metal of my glock against my stomach and belt of my pants makes my skin shiver. I duck behind the car and shoot back at one of the biggest guys on the opposite side of the street. 

Bang! Down he goes, and his friends flee carrying him into the car yelling about how this isn’t over. They speed off, and the cops aren’t even here yet. We jump in our run down car and Tendou speeds away. 

We technically won, we heard that crips were barging in on our territory talking shit about us so we surprise attacked them. Little did we know that they were prepared, they fled and we still own this block. Victory is ours.

Tendou sings his little song and Yamamoto slides his shirt off and wipes the sweat off of his forehead. He sighs before slinging his arm around my short, sweaty figure.

“Yo man that was awesome! One hit and the whole thing was over before the cops were even called!”

“Yeah… you’re right,” he’s right, but I don’t feel like I’ve won. Something as simple as running and jumping earlier today felt better than this. This isn’t the first time I’ve killed someone, I’ve lost count to be honest. It never feels good to “win.” When I saw the top of the net and everyone was looking at me in shock, it made me feel better than this. 

It’s not like I can show that I’m actually saddened by this, imagine how weak I’ll be shown off as. So I smile one of my fake smiles that I’ve perfected since I left home and say in my happy-go-lucky voice.

“That was awesome!”

Yamamoto slightly tightens his grip on my shoulder, lightly stroking his thumb is reassurance. As if he was apologizing for making me do that. He’s the only one that knows about my scarring past and sexuality, he will be the only one and carry my secret to his grave.

I am strong. My pain will not put a damper upon me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was hella hard to edit lmao.


	7. It Was A Good Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is how all weekends should be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I mention a shit ton of drug use and smoking in this, despite never being high before. I don't fucking know what it's like, nor what being in a gang is like, or what being a criminal is like lmao. Remember this is just fiction, if anyone was wondering. Also know I have no ill intentions using the amount of slurs I do in this story, I know that at least in America that the f-slur is commonly used. and the n slur is also used, but not in an offensive way as much as the f-slur. But that's just where I'm from...
> 
> Ps: when i say i've never gotten high before, that doesn't also equate to being the most law abinding citizen,
> 
> Ps+s: I also use a lot of slang I here from my area, i don't know why maybe it's just the characters in my head I have that i try to characterize as best as possible. but yk if i were to use this much slang this much it's just cringey >:[

_ The sounds of groans and moans filled my empty room, mine and the two porn stars fucking each other’s brains out on my small smartphone’s cracked screen. This is the only time I get until next month to “do the needed,” so I need to get the most out of it as I can. Not being openly out really has given me a lot of sexual frustration. Constantly rejecting Oikawa despite knowing that he’s the only one that can tend to my blue balls really puts a damper on me.  _

_ Not that I’d choose him if I had more options, at this point my only options are fucking a prostitute or getting rammed by Oikawa but he’s definitely not my type. As if I’d ever sleep with that door no matter how pretty he is or how horny I may be.  _ _   
_ _   
_ _ As the two men get closer to their climax, my breath hitches. Everything gets a little bit hotter, and stars are spangled all over the room. I strip my shirt to cool off a little more, leaving me in only my boxers.  _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Just as the submissive orgasms, my dick twitches. White cum splatters all over the “bed,” which is really just a foam mattress from a garbage can with newspapers as a blanket.  _ _   
_ _   
_ _ My breathing levels out just as the dominant cums into the submissive’s tight ass.  _

_ “God, I wish someone would cum in my ass like that.” _

_ “Yo man that’s hella sus. Say ‘no homo’ right now,” is the next thing I hear when Yamamoto is now in my room.  _ _   
  
_

_ But wait, today was my free day?! I didn’t have any plans, until I realized I actually did. We were supposed to have dinner together. Oh shit. OH SHIT! _

_ “It’s not what it looks like! I swear! No homo! It was just a joke-” _

_ The next gay porno blasts from my phone’s speakers. Fucking autoplay!  _

_ I throw my phone across the room, it hits the wall and the screen is now in two. I guess that’s the last of my phone, but it was better than the sound of a guy blowing another while my friend was over.  _

_ “Ahha, I was curious! I’m only 17 you know, just ventured off of straight pornhub by accident!”  _

_ Yamamoto inhales, sits down in a squat position with his hands massaging his temples. His eyes are closed tight and he’s breathing heavy.  _

_ I just shut up and bow my head in shame, shoving my clothes back on and getting dinner from the fridge.  _

_ “Let’s not eat right now, I’m not feeling that hungry,” Yamamoto mumbles, getting up from his squatting position and he walks around the room.  _

_ I shove the food back in the fridge and start packing my stuff, “I guess I’ll be moving out soon, figured you guys won’t want to live next to a fag.” I shove back the tears welling up in my eyes and bite my lip until I taste the iron of my own blood.  _

_ Yamamoto grabs me before I even grab my small backpack, “You don’t need to do anything, Hinata,” he states. “Don’t call yourself a fag, have more pride than that or you won’t survive out on these streets.”  _

_ He’s right, and realizing this makes the tears I’ve been holding for over a year now go.  _

_ He turns around. Looking up to the ceiling he states with authority, “Don’t ever call yourself such degrading names and don’t you ever let anyone see you cry! No matter how much pain you’re in, hide it. Don’t let anyone see your weaknesses! Lie if you need to! And most of all,” he takes a deep breath in and out to avoid his voice breaking, “don’t assume the worse! I’m your friend and senpai for God’s sake! So what if you like that?! I don’t judge, who do you take me for?!”  _

_ He finally dries away the tears streaming off of his cheeks, and he states with a fierce look in his eye, “If you ever want to have a life of joy, and get out of the streets, you can’t let anyone know about this. Be humble and proud, but don’t let anyone know. That’s the way life is out here. Take my advice with a grain of salt, always prioritize your safety!”  _

_ The tears stop streaming from my face and I scream with pride, “Yes sir!” _

_ “Now go get that damn food, lecturing makes me hungry!” _

_ “Yes sir!” _

***

Taking in a big inhale, all of the day’s tension leaves my body at once. Socks on and shirts off, fans blowing and smoke escaping my open window. Chilling and smoking a blunt with Yamamoto, just how every weekend should be. The aggressive dog barking and screaming is barely a whisper over the bass boosted hip hop from our new speaker.    
  
_ 1, 2, 1, 2, yo check this out, it's the jump off right now _

_ I want everybody, to put your work down, put your guns down _

_ And report to the pit, the gravel pit, _

“Man, ever thought about being a rapper?” screamed Yamamoto over the music.    
  
“Ha! As if I could ever write poetry like this!” I laughed, taking in my last puff and throwing my blunt out the window, without caring who was down there.    
  
“I guess you’re right, but let me ask you something,” he screams, turning down the music and shutting the window.    
  
“What?” I forced out, way too buzzed to even hear my own voice.    
  
“I don’t really get this gay stuff, so you don’t like girls at all?” he genuinely asks.   
  
I guess we haven’t talked about it ever since he walked in on me that one day, “EW! I would never!” I exclaim, getting up to grab the whiskey on the counter. 

“Really?! Not even Shibuya Kaho?!” he questions, completely oblivious to my face distorting in disgust.    
  
“But what about Alexis Texas?” he questions some more, squirming from the thought of them. 

“I told you, hell nah! I’m into a big dick! Fuck boobs!” I reply, taking a huge drink from the huge bottle of whiskey, handing it off to Yamamoto. 

“Ohh, I think I get it now! Thanks bro!”

“No problem, buddy,” I mumble, falling onto the bed piss drunk and high as hell. I check my phone and it’s only 5 in the morning, and there’s about 10 texts from an unsaved number. 

_ Another job, at this hour?  _ I wonder, then click on the message and it’s that damn raven head bastard. I also have 3 missed calls from about 3 minutes ago, I call back to see what the hell he wants.    
  
“Ya man what the hell do you want?!” I scream into the phone, not expecting a reply. 

“Uhm, it’s Kageyama Tobio. I got your number from the school, I was wondering if you had put any consideration into my offer. I think you would be a-”

“Blah blah blah! All this chit chat! No, I haven’t thought about it! Stop texting me so much, what are you my boyfriend?!” 

“No, I’m sorry. I just think you would be a great addition to the team. If you like we can meet up at your place to discuss the details of the club?” 

I scream my address into the phone then hang up. I’m tired of him. 

“Uhm, dude,” Yamamoto blabbers out, “I think you just kind of outed yourself to him.”

_ Did I?  _ I ask myself, but what does it matter? 

“Oh well,” I yawn, “I’m going to sleep leave a note when and if you leave,” 

And like that I’m out like a light. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I absolutely love hip hop lmao, so if u can get the references to different songs I make in this chapter I'll gift you 10 billion points, (10 billion more points if you get this reference)
> 
> I might put more references to different things I like in my chapters so I can hint at what kind of person I am lmao


End file.
